Playing What We Feel, Feeling What We Play

The loss of a daughter

I do not know the pain of loosing a spouse, but I do know the pain of loosing a child.
She died three days after her birth from a congenital heart defect.
I felt the pain of never having held her before her death, as well as having to tell my then wife, that our baby was going to die. had they had the expertise then that they have today, she might have been saved.
The greater pain was carrying her casket to her grave site, but at least in carrying her casket, I could feel close to her.
She was born December 16, 1961.
Her name was Maria.

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Pixie Bavle-Nolin on June 20, 2008 at 3:14pm: Munch, you responed so well. I wanted to reply to this but I had already known about this part of John's life and have never been able to say much.

I guess I've gone through so much of my own grief that all I can do is feel and not say anything. Sometimes that's better at the time.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Judy Whiting on June 30, 2009 at 9:46pm: John: I too have lost a child or a young man actually. we are not suppose to go before them but
who knows what the higher power has in plans. Posted a poem to him written on his birthday.
He was 17, made who's who of american teenagers! Funny, straight, so many friends and a life
so well planned. working at Mcdonalds saving money for his first car. was sick the day he went to work
and i wish to this day he had stayed home. robbery took place that nite, and all were shot!
endured a trial and a funeral. his birthday was december 5 and his name was andrew.

judy; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Judy Whiting on June 30, 2009 at 9:50pm: To John and Pixie.
sending my love to both of you. Even after all this time. Sometimes in the quiet hours I hear my sons
laughter, or a rustle of the quilt over my couch, He use to cover me up sometimes when I fell asleep.
Don't think it is my imagination either. It brings me comfort knowing I was loved! As you both are!
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Permalink Reply by Pixie Bavle-Nolin on July 1, 2009 at 11:08pm: I'm no stranger to grief and although I've lost everyone, I can't imagine the pain of losing a child.

My child was only a 3 mos. pregnancy but it's not the same as having named, held and loved that child.

My heart goes out to you both.; ▶ Reply to This