Jokester

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Comment by Pixie Bavle-Nolin on December 26, 2009 at 4:13am

Mary had a little lamb, the doctor was surprised. But when Old McDonald had a farm, the doctor almost died.

Comment by Sue Rarick on December 24, 2009 at 9:16am

A funny and silly game about Tiger Woods. Must be 2 or older to play - lol
http://video1.break.com/dnet/media/2009/12/tiger-woods-wife-outrun-video-game.swf

Comment by Judy Whiting on December 13, 2009 at 9:12am

Comment by Judy Whiting on November 14, 2009 at 11:29am

this one came from a friend here.
3 hillbillies in a bar talking about their wifes.
1st hillbilly says. My wife went out and bought a new fridge.
what's wrong with that the others replied.l
We don't have electricity was his answer
2nd hillbilly said. My wife went out an bought a toilet
What's wrong with that they replied
WE don't have indoor plumbing was the answer
3rd hillbilly said. Opened my wifes purse and it was loaded with condoms.
So what's wrong with that was the reply.
well jeese guys SHE DON"T HAVE A PENIS!

Comment by Sue Rarick on November 11, 2009 at 2:53pm

God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him, resting on the seventh day..

He inquired, "Where have you been?"

God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."

Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is it?"

"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a place to test Balance."

"Balance?" inquired Michael, "I'm still confused."

God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth. "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor. Over here I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things."

God continued pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."

The Archangel , impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land area and said, "What's that one?"

"That's the State of Maryland, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful mountains, rivers and streams, lakes, forests, hills, and plains. The people from the State of Maryland are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to travel the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, carriers of peace, and producers of good things."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then asked, "But what about balance, God? You said there would be balance..."

God smiled, "Right next to Maryland is Washington DC. Wait till you see the idiots I put there."

Comment by Pixie Bavle-Nolin on November 5, 2009 at 4:04pm

Those bumper stickers are funny. Actually, all of these posts are funny. My posts are often corny but oh, well, I learned from my dad who told some really really corny jokes.

Comment by Judy Whiting on November 5, 2009 at 11:03am

BUMPER STICKERS FIND ONE YOU LIKE JUDY


I love animals, they taste great.

EARTH FIRST! We'll stripmine the other planets later.

"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

He who laughs last thinks slowest!

Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

Comment by Lesley Chester on September 17, 2008 at 4:20pm

Bob received a parrot for his birthday. The parrot had a bad attitude and a worse vocabulary. Every other word was an expletive. Bob tried to change the bird's attitude by being polite, playing soft music - anything he could think of.
Nothing worked. He yelled at the bird and the bird got worse. He shook the bird and it got even madder and more rude. Finally, in desperation, he put the parrot in the freezer. For a few moments it squawked and swore, but then fell silent.
Frightened he might have hurt his pet, Bob opened the door. The parrot stepped on to his arm and said: "I'm sorry I offended you with my language and my actions. I ask your forgiveness".
Bob was astounded at the change in attitude and was about to ask what caused it, when the bird contuinued: "May I ask what the chicken did?"